Caretakers. They’re the unsung heroes, often in a thankless and unseen position. But many members of the disability community would be utterly lost without them. So why are they never talked about in fantasy? Today, I’m going to be discussing two examples of positive portrayals of caretakers in fiction—Min Farshaw from The Wheel of Time, and Syl from The Stormlight Archives. As a word of warning, there will be spoilers for the entire Wheel of Time series and spoilers through Rhythm of War (most recent publication at the date of this article) in Stormlight Archives.
To Start Off With, What Is A Caretaker?
Simply put, a caretaker is just that—someone who takes care of another person. It could be a nurse at a hospital, an aide at a senior living facility, or even a child’s parent. In the context we’re talking about today, though, caretakers are people who help care for people who are disabled.
Whether that caretaker is a close friend, a family member, a spouse, or someone who’s hired to help, such as a home nurse, what they do is vital. Many people who are disabled are not always able to fully take care of themselves. Even people who have as many “passing” days as I do still have those days when we just cannot function at all, and having someone there who can pick up the pieces when we can’t is incredible important.
Caretakers are rarely recognized by the people around them. Often, people outside of the situation won’t know how to recognize their efforts, which can lead to awkward encounters. And often, on our end, we can get so wrapped up in our own health issues we can sometimes forget to really thank our caretakers.
So Let’s Talk About These Unsung Heroes.
Min Farshaw, AKA The Real (Unsung) Hero Of The Wheel Of Time
Alright, for anyone who hasn’t read the full series of The Wheel of Time and cares about anything in it possibly being spoiled, this is your last warning.
For anyone who follows me on Twitter, y’all know of my deep love of Min. I’ve gone on many a rant about how not only is she my favorite character of all time, but also how I feel she’s probably the single most important character in the entire series. Is she commanding armies or leading nations like Rand, Egwene, Mat, Elayne, and Perrin? Is she one of the most powerful channelers of the Age, able to go toe-to-toe with one of the Forsaken and win like Nynaeve?
No, Min’s value goes far beyond that. To the casual observer, someone in the court of the Dragon Reborn, she looks like she’s just a pretty face enamored with the most powerful figure since the Breaking. Readers might see Rand’s mighty feats of Channeling, Mat’s flawless command of battle, or Perrin’s supernatural relationship with the wolves and think that Min is an unimportant secondary or tertiary character.
But What Gets Overlooked In All Of These Interpretations Is Rand Himself.
Not Rand al’Thor, The Dragon Reborn. Not Rand al’Thor, destined to either save the world or burn it down. But instead Rand, the scared, traumatized, terrified child. Rand, who has severe PTSD from everything he’s been through over the two years the series takes place over. Who’s literally gone insane from his own power. Who’s so traumatized, so jaded, that he loses a hand with no real reaction. That is the Rand I’m talking about.
And coincidentally, that is the Rand that Min sees and loves. The other Rand is the Rand everyone else sees—his two childhood best friends, his two other lovers, his former childhood sweetheart. Everyone he grew up with, who loves him, sees him only as a means to an end. Whether it’s their means to an end, or the world’s, that’s still what he is. World leaders are pulling him this way and that, trying to get him to Tarmon Gai’don in one piece and on the side of the Light.
But Not Min.
Min doesn’t care that Rand has the ability to destroy the world. She doesn’t care that he has entire nations under his thumb. She cares that she loves him, and that he’s hurting. That he doesn’t have the capability to take care of himself. So she does what she has to. She puts aside her own wants and her own needs, and, even at times, her own safety, just to ensure that she can care for him.
Sometimes that care is being a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes it’s being the only one to stand up to some of the most powerful people in the world to advocate for his needs. And sometimes, yes, it’s to provide… how to put it gently… physical distraction from his trauma.
Almost every character who’s on the side of the Light in The Wheel of Time is trying to get Rand to Tarmon Gai’don in order to defeat the Dark One and save the world. But not Min. Min wouldn’t care if he was just a wool-headed sheepherder. She doesn’t care about any Last Battles. She just wants to do whatever she can to manage the pain and the trauma and the suffering of the man she loves.
How is what Min does any different from how anyone in a relationship might act? It’s all in managing expectations and reciprocity. As much as Min and Rand care for and love each other, their relationship isn’t equal. On the “grand scheme of things,” Min isn’t as important as Rand. She isn’t fighting battles against the forces of darkness, the fate of the universe doesn’t rest directly on her shoulders.
But On The Flip Side,
Rand isn’t able to fully reciprocate with her. He doesn’t always have the capability to be fully emotionally available for her—not that he’s an emotionally stunted character, far from it—he just has a tendency to shut down as a trauma coping mechanism. He keeps ending up in dangerous situations, either accidentally or on purpose, with Min always being by his side.
He, like many of us who have either had or currently have a caretaker, can’t always understand why she’s still there. He can see the imbalance in the relationship, and can see that he’s not as big a “contributor” to it as she is, at least in the traditional sense. But as any of us who either have had or have been a caretaker can see, that’s exactly what the nature of their relationship is. It’s not just your regular romantic relationship where there’s an equal give and take, where both parties are on equal or at least equivalent footing.
It’s a situation where due to severe mental illness and physical disability, one party is more responsible for the health and well-being of the other than on making sure they’re on equal footing. Min, although not referred to as such, is Rand’s caretaker.
For all of you who I’ve already waxed poetic about Min to, I told y’all I could write a freakin’ essay about her. I told y’all.
“Syl” Sylphrena, The Ancient Daughter, AKA The Unsung Hero Of Roshar
Last chance to turn back on Stormlight Archives spoilers through Rhythm of War (most recent publication as per this article). Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
This section will not be as long, partly because I don’t want to repeat myself too much, but also because as I’m writing this it’s very late at night and I’m very tired.
If Min is to Rand what Sam is to Frodo, carrying Rand up the metaphorical Mount Doom, then Syl is to Kaladin what Min is to Rand. Syl has bonded herself to him—her life literally depends on Kaladin upholding certain ideals—and sees his happiness and well-being as her responsibility.
Kaladin is a character with severe PTSD and depression that only progresses further and further as the books do. It reaches a point where our action hero in a fantasy epic is sidelined by his superiors because he no longer has the mental facilities to deal with regular combat. And this is not something that’s ever portrayed as a weakness or bad thing, just a thing that is.
During many of his more intense bouts of depression, Syl will often have issues of her own to deal with. But whenever Kaladin can sense something going on with her, she instantly suppresses whatever is going on with her to try and maintain her regular sparkly image, in an attempt to be what she thinks he needs her to be. Now, this isn’t necessarily the healthiest of things, and it isn’t presented as such.
But The Point Is, Syl Will Always Put Kaladin’s Needs And Desires Above Her Own.
Not only this, but living in a world as brutal as he does, suffering with mental illness, it can be easy to go down the wrong path at times. But Syl always finds a way to make sure that Kaladin does the right thing, even if he doesn’t want to do it.
Caring for someone dealing with severe mental illness is no easy task, and there is no easy way to do it. But everyone with debilitating mental illness—severe PTSD and depression in Kaladin’s case—could benefit from a Syl. Someone who’s there to distract you when you need distraction, give you a little shove when you need some pushing, a set of restraints when you need someone to hold you back.
In a world full of Dalinars and Adolins and Kaladins and Navanis and Jasnahs it can be easy to be pushed to the side and forgotten. But few characters will go to the lengths Syl does in order to care for their partner’s mental health. Syl is more than just a friend to Kaladin. She’s the one who picks him up when he wants to end it all and let Odium win. She’s the one who helps him recognize what is and isn’t right, and what is and isn’t the mental illness talking.
Where Can I Find More Caretakers In Fiction?
It can be hard to find good examples of caretakers in fiction. Often, it’ll be in something that glamorizes disability or severe mental illness. But sometimes you’ll get an actual, real portrayal of these unsung heroes.
One problem that does also arise from many portrayals of caretakers is the vast majority of them are women (or beings that have no gender in the traditional sense but appear female, such as Syl) taking care of men. There are examples to be found of male caretakers, but they’re much fewer and far between.
A caretaker in fiction is more than a character who just cares about another character and tries to make them smile. They’re the characters who spend countless pages doing everything in their power to help that other character with their disability or illness, often to little or no recognition. Who puts their own needs and wants and desires to the side so that they can take care of the other character.
Now, it’s not healthy for a caretaker to be 100% devoted to any one person all of the time. It’s just not sustainable or healthy. 100% devotion, 100% of the time leads to burnout and resentment in real life. In real life, if you know someone is a caretaker, lend them a hand when you can. Sometimes that’s something as simple as letting them have a shoulder to cry on or vent their frustrations to, free of judgement. Maybe they need someone to help them get groceries.
So if you know someone who’s a caretaker—really know them—check in on them from time to time. You never know what kind of help they need. Just don’t try and get them to tell you what to do during a crisis. They’re too busy putting out fires then to worry about telling other people what to do.
Did You Really Think There Was More Today?
Gosh, we’re greedy today. Y’all really want more? Alright, alright. I’ll give you guys a couple breadcrumbs. The TikTok has been up and live for over a week now, so go check that out for fun daily content. At least one video gets uploaded there every day. The novel continues to be underway. Slow and steady wins the race.
I do have one teaser for you: the title of the book contains the word “the.” Exciting, right? Maybe if enough people start clamoring for it I’ll do a title reveal at sometime in the not-distant future. If that’s something y’all want.
Until next time,
-Nick
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